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13 March 2008 @ 10:16 pm
"What are grits, anyway?": a drabble  
The milled porridge was a warm salty weight in his mouth. He tongued the soft, buttery lump, licking traces from his lips.

“Oh Doctor,” he moaned, “you were so right—breakfast of champions.”

“And are you sorry for mocking a ‘silly human regional peccadillo,’ just because you didn’t understand it?”

“So penitent I might be willing to demonstrate my appreciation of salty flavors. It’s only been a few hours, but do you, like the South, rise again?”

“Shush or you’ll see less action than Maine did.”

“And here I was hoping you’d take me like Sherman through Georgia.”

“…I hate you.”
ladysarahii: macintoshladysarahii on March 14th, 2008 03:22 am (UTC)
I love me some grits!p0rn.

This is perfect, actually. Left me with a huge smile on my face. :)
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)
Happy to oblige. ;p
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 04:09 am (UTC)
Ella: dw master ; that's rightexotik on March 14th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
That was delicious! It gave me a veeery happy feeling. So the conclusion: You = made of win! *claps*
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
Thanks! Any time I can make gratuitous Dixie jokes/pimp my birth-region? I must.
(Deleted comment)
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
Hah, thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Chaos: Masterorder_of_chaos on March 14th, 2008 04:44 am (UTC)
Mmmmmm. Mouthwatering food-porn and hysterical historical sex-puns. Lovely.
x_losfic: Gingerx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm surprised you got them, being Aussie. That's not pejorative, I'm just pretty damn sure I wouldn't grok ya'll's historical sex puns. Which I'm sure you must have in abundance, Australia being one of those kind of inherently 'sexier-than-thou' destinations in the common imagination. ;p
Chaosorder_of_chaos on March 14th, 2008 05:38 am (UTC)
*nibbles icon*

New Zealander actually (which is close enough, geographically speaking, if you happen to live on the other side of the world). I put it down to fandom - it wouldn't work the other way because you don't get many fandoms/fanfics set in Australia or NZ, but there are enough set in the UK and the US that you end up learning things by osmosis.
I'm sorry to say, pre-fandom me would probably have looked at you blankly and wondered who this Georgia person was.
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 05:44 am (UTC)
Gah! Sorry! Have good Kiwi friend, know have erred terribly. At least now I get to make a ton of fun of you re: The Tribe. AKA THE BEST SHOW EVAHR.

Oh, true!

ha, not even the country Georgia?
sconeblinkidybah on March 14th, 2008 05:50 am (UTC)
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC)
Chaosorder_of_chaos on March 14th, 2008 11:20 am (UTC)
I am DOOMED! *quails*
Actually, I haven't seen it and it sounds like I should have. But you can totally make fun of me re: it anyway.

Not even. *shakes head sadly*
Well, maybe the country. At least I wouldn't have assumed she was Sherman's girlfriend.
Evilawyerevilawyer on March 14th, 2008 06:40 am (UTC)
Civil War sexual innuendo! I love Civil War sexual innuendo! ***goes back to work anyway***
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 07:03 am (UTC)
Phst, you and your dedication. ;p
Cheesygirl: David Tennant lick Cheesygirlcheesygirl on March 14th, 2008 01:28 pm (UTC)
Mmmmm, salty buttery goodness! Oh, and I love the part about the grits too! ;D
x_losficx_losfic on March 14th, 2008 01:31 pm (UTC)
ha, thanks!
Kariki Neroli: Doctor Who - The Exfallen_iceangel on March 20th, 2008 11:06 am (UTC)
Yay for Grits. XD
x_losficx_losfic on March 20th, 2008 01:51 pm (UTC)
I know, right? I head that line and I was like, 'oh let me show you, sir...'
Kariki Nerolifallen_iceangel on March 20th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
Me too. XD

Big bowl of grits with butter and shredded cheese... :9
flame-thrower mouthshaka_chan on April 1st, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC)
As a Southern belle myself (and a grits-lover since birth) this fic probably amuses me more than it should. xD I love it.
x_losficx_losfic on April 1st, 2008 04:29 pm (UTC)
Hah, thanks! I'm just glad other people went 'hey now!' at that line.
flame-thrower mouthshaka_chan on April 5th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I pretty much jumped out of my chair at that.
(Anonymous) on January 15th, 2011 04:16 am (UTC)
Sorry for the anonymous post (I don't have a LJ and found you through a friend demanding I read one of your fics), but I wanted to let you know that this was absolutely brilliant. I may be a Yankee and with the Master on this whole not understanding grits thing (and I've been living under the Mason–Dixon Line for over ten years now, so I'll admit my understanding is slow, but the civil war puns were hysterical. I think I officially love you for that line about Sherman in Georgia. <3
x_losfic: My Sandwich!x_losfic on January 22nd, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)
Awh, thanks! In return, I honor you in the way of my people... with a giant bowl of buttery grits.

...no one ever said the Way of my People was particularly helpful.
narwhale_callinnarwhale_callin on August 12th, 2011 04:23 am (UTC)
This almost makes me want to try grits. Except I made an unbreakable vow to never try grits. But still. Tempting.

like Sherman through Georgia
***laughs a whole lot louder than she should***
Nerdy historical innuendic puns = a win in my book